It was only two years ago that we bought our house in France so that we’d have a home-base to go to from Africa that was a bit closer to Congo than Canada was. I’ll never forget my Dad’s reaction, a mix of happiness for us, and natural disappointment on his part as he declared, “They’re never coming home now.”

I love that house so much, with a backyard that resembles Bali, but in the South of France. Yet it took me spending my first full summer there last year to realize something huge!

I had flown from Congo to Calgary with my daughters, stayed a few weeks, then turned around and the three of us flew back over the ocean to spend the rest of the summer in France, before we then headed back to Congo. It was exhausting. And insanely expensive.

In France, I flopped back onto our new couch, in our still-new home, and I had a moment of epiphany, turning to my husband with a deep breath, “I can’t keep doing this. I’m tired.”

I didn’t need to explain further, he knew. Even though we had this amazing house in France, it was missing one major component. Family. No matter where we moved to next, we would have our home in France as a base, but we still needed to fly clear across the ocean to see our family.

That was the thought that planted the seed that led to our huge decision.

We are moving back to Canada.

I can honestly say, that like my Dad, I thought the day might never come. We’ve gotten so used to this lifestyle that the idea of going home is now just as scary as the thought of leaving was, almost nine years ago.

Being an expat has given us some of the most amazing and challenging moments imaginable. We have had lifetimes worth of experiences and made unforgettable memories.

As for our kids. For as long as they live, they will be able to lean on their childhood for dinner party conversation, even if the sentence starter is, “When I was young my parents were crazy and we lived all over the world.”

Two years ago when we were told we were moving to Congo we thought, forget it, let’s just go home. Except, there were NO jobs in Calgary. That meant we’d risk going home unemployed. We hesitantly, and against the better judgement of every non-expat we knew, decided to take a chance on Congo and see what it had in store.

It hasn’t always been easy. The geographical isolation makes it very expensive to live here and outrageous to buy plane tickets to leave. But Congo has taught us to appreciate things like water, roads, clear skies, postal systems, having a home, a vehicle, healthcare, employment and money in the bank. Things that are perfectly normal in our lives are seen as luxury items here and make us appreciative not only what we have; but where we were born. So much is no longer taken for granted in a way we never could have even appreciated had we not lived here. If everyone had the opportunity to experience the lifestyle contrast, the world would be a different place. Living here has been a lesson I hope we won’t soon forget.

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With a move back to France this summer sitting on the table, I strangely realized that moving back to our beautiful house wasn’t even going to fix that nagging voice in the back of my head. I had an itch that France was no longer scratching.

I couldn’t commit to another 3 or 4 years. I haven’t lived in a country that speaks English in eight years and I miss that. I was ready for something more than staying at home, now that the kids were in school full time. A change. I wasn’t even sure what it was. Was it my job back? Was it my family and friends? Or was I just craving a bit of ‘normality’(whatever that is)?

Each little nagging question has led us here: The road to repatriation.In summary, we always had the plan that when Océane, our oldest, was in grade 5 or 6 it would be time to plant permanent roots so she could cruise into those adolescent years without any extra issues, like being a landed immigrant. Yet, we’ve been feeling the itch as of late, and opportunity is knocking; so we thought we’d best answer that door.

Moving home isn’t our sexiest option. Would I rather be brunching in Dubai with bubbly in hand? Obviously. But securing a job back in Calgary, though less exotic, is a step toward our future plan that we currently feel ready to take.

Our travelling isn’t done. It likely never will be in our family. It’s in our veins and in my opinion, it’s the best education we can give our kids. We just won’t be able to do it every six weeks anymore.

How am I managing with this decision?

Well, I’ve known about this since last summer, but I’ve only been able to officially share it now because I didn’t believe it myself. I’ve flip-flopped and changed my mind on this more times than I can count. I’m making my husband crazy; that I can guarantee. Even after we sold our house in France, and shipped all of the contents to Canada, I still wasn’t 100% convinced.

Frankly, I think the reality won’t sink in until the end of summer comes and I don’t get back on a plane to leave Canada.

If we were told that we were moving to Singapore, Denmark or Abu Dhabi that would be an easier transition for us than moving home, which is crazy.

I was the one who started this conversation about no longer being happy in constant motion, yet the lifestyle change that moving home brings, gives me more anxiety than I’ve felt since we left Canada in the first place. Change is difficult.

Will I miss the adventure?

Like I would miss breathing.

But Canada is a new ‘expat’ country for our kids. It’s the first time they will ever live in an English speaking country or community. Calgary has changed so much since my husband and I lived there, and we’ve never lived there with kids. There will be exploring to do and plenty of new things to discover…plus grandparents available for overnight babysitting!!! So we’re treating it as a new adventure because surely moving across the world can’t be anything BUT.

Change is in the air, my friends. Change is in the air!

THIS. IS. HUGE.